This, that and everything

What’s on your mind?

anuj m — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 10:21:22 +0000

Everyone knows that their status does not matter online. They’re wrong. Your status has never been more important. No, I don’t mean your ‘social status’ – no one cares about that stuff. It’s your ‘social networking status’ that can make or break you in this big, bad online world.

Every morning a Facebook user gets up, he’s faced with the inescapable question – ‘what’s on your mind?’ Research suggests that the average social networking user updates his status 384 times a day (our research is carried out by my random number generator, I call him Randy, so I generally give it a margin of error of 0.5 to 1%). If you don’t want to be a social pariah, you should be doing the same. But make no mistake, just any old status message will not do – it has to be original too. I know of a person who just couldn’t think of any new witty status updates and in a moment of desperation, recycled an older status message of his. Suffice to say, he lost his job, his wife took the kids and left him, and all his online friends banned him. He was last seen looking for new friends in the real world – it was all very sad.

So, how are some people able to come up with one interesting status after the other, while some can’t go beyond ‘just took so-and-so quiz’ messages? Is it because they lead more interesting lives you ask? Nope! It’s because they’ve read my latest book – ‘How to Update your Status and Win Friends’. Unfortunately, my publisher went bankrupt so you can’t really find that literary gem anywhere. Don’t worry though, I’ve decided to summarize the book and share the essential teachings with you right here, for free:

1. Choose the right words: Don’t say ‘I like oranges.’ Say ‘Anyone who doesn’t like oranges is an idiot!’ instead.
2. Massage the truth a little: Don’t say ‘Scratched myself in front of the telly all day.’ Say ‘Training to climb Mt. Everest.’ instead.
3. Sensationalize: Don’t say ‘Dropped my pencil.’ Say ‘I may never be able to write again!’ instead.
4. Cheat: Pick something from here.

That’s all the tips I had – it was a very thin book. Use them wisely.

The Broomie Code (patent pending)

anuj m — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 21:41:34 +0000

All of my room-mates recently moved out for the usual reasons (getting married, getting transferred, going to jail). I had to make a choice – stay alone or look for a room-mate. I opted for the latter – hey you only live once, right? First few interviews and hundreds of missing spoons later, I realized that in order to ease the process, I first needed to define how the perfect room-mate should behave. So, I got thinking, and one thing led to the another, and voila – the ‘Broomie Code’ (inspired by the Bro Code’) was born. Here’s the first draft (still in the RFC stage) of the soon to be sacred code:

1. A broomie always replaces the last packet of maggi after eating it. There are no exceptions to this rule.
2. A broomie does not hog the internet bandwidth, and schedules his downloads in the night.
3. A broomie loves the same sports as you, or he gets his own TV.
4. A broomie does not watch soap operas (includes Splitsvilla/Roadies) – not even if he gets his own TV.
5. A broomie does not complain about the noise – he uses headphones to drown it out.
6. A broomie trashes his room to look worse than your room when your parents visit.
7. A broomie drags in broomies that have passed out on the wrong side of the front door no matter how late it is.
8. A broomie does not mention your burping skills in front of your female friends.
9. A broomie mentions your burping skills in front of your male friends.
10. A broomie is able to hold his liquor – at least while he is in the common area.

That’s as far as I’ve gotten but together with your help, I’m sure we can have a 100-page document ready in no time.
So, please feel free to suggest additions/modifications to this list in the comments section.

Oh and in case you’re wondering, I stay alone now.

Get real

anuj m — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 20:04:30 +0000

Reality is funny. Reality is even funnier if it happens to someone else and you get to watch. To be honest, I didn’t know we had so much reality amongst us until I flipped the channel one day and I was transported to this whole new world. It was kind of surreal if you know what I mean.

Reality is traditional. A lady just chose her groom on a reality show last week. It’s so nice to see the return of traditional values in society. You must remember that swayamvars were how the ladies got hitched back in the good old days. It is very admirable of the TV guys to finally give tradition its due. I’ve always said that tradition is where it’s at nowadays. Modern thought is so last century.

Reality is noble. There’s a reality show that’s taken it upon itself to lift our society from the dredges of immorality that it has slipped into. Yes, I’m talking about the show where people are hooked up to a lie detector and are rewarded for being truthful. You know what – it moved me. I mean here’s one show that our children can learn good moral values from. How else would they learn that telling the whole world that you cheated on your wife can be a rewarding experience(worth at least 100k)? The truth can now literally set you free, of your family and friends that is, none of whom would come near you after they come to know what you really think of them. But who needs those ingrates when truth is on your side? Not you, no way!

Reality is educational. For example, I chanced upon this great show named toadies(or something similar, I forget), which is like a fountain of knowledge that just doesn’t stop giving. I learnt one of life’s biggest lessons right here – stay away from bald guys. It’s clear that they can somehow control the minds of impressionable youth and make them do whatever they want. And worst of all, they seem to have discovered how to replicate. But that’s not all, this show also teaches you valuable skills. After watching just a couple of shows, my three year old nephew had learnt five new grown up words. It would have taken him years to pick those up without their help. He has also developed some very useful lip reading skills which he puts to good use by explaining to me what the contestants are talking about(it’s not always audible over the bleeps you know).

So get real and embrace these fine specimens of television programming. After all, there’s no escaping reality.

Ghajini – Movie Review

anuj m — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 22:56:14 +0000

Just came back from a screening of Ghajini. I must say that I expected a bit more from an Aamir Khan movie. It’s not that the movie was bad, it just that its execution wasn’t any different from the other attempts in this genre.

The acting by Aamir and the leading lady Asin is definitely top-notch. Asin in particular manages portray the role of a chirpy, kind-hearted romantic excellently. This helps make the few comic bits in the movie fun. Jiah Khan is not very convincing and her accent and dialogue delivery let her down a bit. The villain with his inexplicable Punjabi-South Indian accent doesn’t do the role complete justice. You do end up truly despising him, but its more because of the story rather than his performance. Maybe, Aamir’s character should have been pitted against a mightier foe(taking a leaf from the Superhero flicks) to add a new dimension to the retelling of the story.

The plot is pretty much the same as the Tamil version (which itself is loosely based on Christopher Nolan’s ‘Memento’). The problem with the storyline is that it is extremely predictable and formulaic. I haven’t seen the Tamil version, but I could still guess the direction the story would take at a lot of junctions, especially at the climax of the movie. I expected a few plots twists, purely because Aamir Khan was involved, but they weren’t to be found. Also, I was surprised at the numerous plot loopholes that were overlooked or ignored by the writers.

The thing to watch out for, apart from Asin and Aamir’s performances, is the brilliant cinematography. The special effects are top quality and haven’t been overdone and some of the scenes are good enough to frame. I’m pretty sure there’s going to be a Ghajini themed art show(if there hasn’t been one already) in the near future.

The musical score by Rehman, is surprisingly(the man is immensely talented), displeasing to the ears. It is evident that he’s tried to do something different here but it doesn’t really work. The background score is not bad though. The song sequences are picturised well, but are blatantly forced and just don’t fit within the narrative.

All in all, its a nice predictable action-thriller which will keep you engaged for its duration. A bit predictable, but better than the usual fare that’s dished out by the industry. Worth a watch.

Please read this to help the needy with a free click.

Best book I discovered in 2008

anuj m — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 11:45:41 +0000

It’s that time of the year again – the time everyone makes ‘Best of the year’ lists. I thought I would make mine with a small change though – the items on my my list won’t necessary have released in 2008, they would be things that ‘I’ have come across this year.
With the explanation out of the way, I’ll begin my list with the ‘Best book I discovered this year’ category.

And the award goes to… A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson. I was introduced to this brilliant read by my brother and have since recommended/gifted this to a multitude of people and they’ve ‘all’ become instant fans.

The book is an absolutely fluid guide to how the various fields of science have evolved to their current state over the years. It’s replete with fascinating anecdotes involving little known as well as the famous giants of science that helped shape science and the world as we know it. The book should earn its place on the bookshelves of any reader with ease.

It’s highly recommended, especially for children that are ticked off by the dull science texts that they’re forced to read at school.

Twenty20 Wins!

anuj m — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 20:34:09 +0000

There you have it, the perfect cricket final that anyone (spectators, sponsors, the BCCI, Lalit Modi et al) could have asked for. And what a deserving victory it was! The Royals, the team that was written off by everyone before the tounament even began, sneaked the cup on the final delivery.

How did a seemingly ordinary team (on paper) pull it off, and so comprehensively at that? Was it Warne’s inspirational captaincy that did it? Was it the superb allround performances by Watson, Pathan and Tanvir (to name a few) that tilted the scale in their favour? Was it the fact that the youngsters of the team lived up to the confidence that was shown in them? Was it because Rajasthan had stumbled upon the perfect Twenty20 team combination? Were their cheerleader just better at their job than the others? Maybe it was all that, and a bit of luck on the way, that was the secret of their success.

The tournament helped to unearth some great new talent for the Indians and surprisingly, for the Australians too (remember Shaun Marsh?). It also succeeded in doing something unheard of in Indian cricket – it made domestic cricket profitable. The transfers/purchase of players will add an interesting dimension to the game. Although they could have come up with better couloured caps for the best. I mean, purple and orange? Really?

Now for the obvious question, what does this mean for the 50 overs game? It’s going to be very difficult to sit through 50 ‘slow’ overs after that! Maybe it’s time for Twenty20 to take its place. The fifty over game was created in seventies to make the game more ‘fun’, and it was instantly successful. For more than 38 years, the fifty over format has enthralled the cricket fans. But then along came some wiseguy who noted that nothing interesting really happened between the 15th and 40th overs. Yeah, that’s right, I’m talking about you! So maybe its time we just did away with those overs and embraced Twenty20 cricket as its successor. I for one see no point in there being two different versions of the smaller format, specially when one of them is so overwhelmingly more exciting than the other. What do you think?

Help the Needy

anuj m — Wed, 14 May 2008 21:59:20 +0000

Here is a list of sites that help the needy. Please visit them to help for free:

≡≡≡≡≡≡ Promote Health : Free Donation Clicks! ≡≡≡≡≡≡

≡≡≡≡≡≡ Help Stop Poverty : Free Donation Clicks! ≡≡≡≡≡≡

http://www.ripple.org/give.php?p=money – Help Finance the Poor With A Free Click!
http://www.ripple.org/give.php?p=education – Help Give Access to Education With A Free Click!
http://www.solvepoverty.com – Help Solve Poverty!
http://dsmith11.tripod.com – Help Health and Poverty!
http://www.povertyfighters.com – Help Raise Money!
http://www.accse.net/rasa/donacion-rasa.html – Help Agriculture!

≡≡≡≡≡≡ Promote Safety : Free Donation Clicks! ≡≡≡≡≡≡

http://stopviolence.care2.com – Stop Violence against Women!
http://www.clearlandmines.com – Stop Land mines!

≡≡≡≡≡≡ Clean Water for All : Free Donation Clicks! ≡≡≡≡≡≡

http://www.ripple.org/give.php?p=water – Give 6 days of clean water!
http://www.cliquesemiarido.org.br/eng/default.asp – Free Clean Water!

≡≡≡≡≡≡ Save the Animals : Free Donation Clicks! ≡≡≡≡≡≡

http://babyseals.care2.com/ – Save the Seals!
http://bigcats.care2.com/ – Save the Big Cats!
http://primates.care2.com/ – Save the Monkeys!
http://bigcats.care2.com/front.html?c=1&p=&iID= – Help Tigers!
http://bigcats.care2.com/front.html?c=2&p=&iID= – Help Jaguars!
http://bigcats.care2.com/front.html?c=2&p=&iID= – Help Leopards!
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com – Feed Starving Animals!
http://pets.care2.com/ – Help Homeless Animals!
http://ecologyfund.com/ecology/_donate_species.html – Protect Wildlife!

≡≡≡≡≡≡ Help Education : Free Donation Clicks! ≡≡≡≡≡≡

http://www.buildaschool.org – Help build a School!
http://www.e-inclusionsite.org/en/clickDonate.php – Promote IT!
http://www.theliteracysite.com – Free Books to the poor!
http://www.ripple.org/give.php?p=education – Help Educate!

≡≡≡≡≡ Save the Environment : Free Donation Clicks! ≡≡≡≡≡

http://stopglobalwarming.care2.com/ – Offset Carbon, Stop Warming!
http://ecologyfund.com/ecology/_donate_pol.html – Reduce Pollution!
http://ecologyfund.com/ecology/_donate_coastal.html – Save a Coast!
http://oceans.care2.com/ – Save the Dolphins!
http://www.therainforestsite.com - Protect Habitats!
http://www.clickforgreenland.com/_us/_en/home.aspx - Save Melting Greenland!
http://www.theenvironmentsite.org/donate.php – Help the Environment!
http://cannecy.free.fr/solar/index.php – Create Free Solar Energy!

≡≡≡≡≡ Help the Forests and Plants : Free Donation Clicks! ≡≡≡≡≡

http://cannecy.free.fr/iforest/en/ – Plant an Oak!
http://www.diewaldseite.de/ – Help the Forests, from Germany!
http://www.ettklickforskogen.se/engelska/ettKlickeng.asp – Help Old Forests!
http://www.tree4life.com/ingles/ingles.htm – Plant a tree in Brazil!
http://www.landcareniagara.com/ - Plant a tree in Niagara!
http://ecologyfund.com/ecology/_donate_rainforest.html – Save the Amazon!
http://ecologyfund.com/ecology/_donate_us.html- Save the Wilderness!
http://ecologyfund.com/ecology/donate_plant_tree.html – Plant a Tree!
http://redjellyfish.com/ – Help the Rainforest!
http://rainforest.care2.com/ – Help our Rainforests!

Suggestions from blog visitors:

http://www.freewebs.com/clickforcharity/environmentalcharities.htm

www.goodsearch.com
www.everyclick.com
www.searchkindly.com
www.ippimail.com

Happy Holi!!!

anuj m — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 07:54:15 +0000

Happy holi to everyone!!! Have a safe and fun holi.

Holi is the best time to share your happiness with the less-fortunate. So go out there and do your major good deed for the day.

Please start by clicking for free here (I am not affiliated to these sites in any way and am not going to profit from any of these clicks):

http://www.bhookh.com/ – Help feed chronically hungry Indian children

www.thehungersite.com : Click for free to and they’ll donate free food to the needy

www.thebreastcancersite.com : Click for free and they’ll donate free mammograms

www.thechildhealthsite.com: Click for free and they’ll donate free healthcare for children

www.theliteracysite.com : Click for free and they’ll donate free books to children

www.theanimalrescuesite.com: Click for free and they’ll donate food and care for animals

www.therainforestsite.com : Click for free and they’ll donate help to save our rainforests

www.freerice.com : Donates rice for every word meaning you get right – great fun!!!

www.freewebs.com/clickforcharity : This site lists websites that allow you to donate help by clicking for free

http://www.freeflour.com – Free Flour

http://www.freepoverty.com – Free Water

http://children.care2.com/

http://www.definition-of.com/

http://www.savetheworldwithmusic.com/

http://www.clickbokin.ekokoro.jp/50.html

http://www.feedsa.co.za

http://www.hungerfighters.com

http://www.hungrychildren.com

http://www.clickbokin.ekokoro.jp/floq.html

http://www.pajacyk.pl/

http://www.porloschicos.com/PorLosChicos.NET/index_english.htm

Cha Bar and Coffee World – Bangalore Restaurant Review

anuj m — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 19:47:03 +0000

I’m going to start the restaurant review section with a twin review of two of the most popular caffeine dispensers in Bangalore.

A trip to the Cha bar at the Leela Galleria on Airport Road is a very rejuvenating experience. Set among the literary atmosphere of Landmark, with internet in the air (they have free wi-fi!), the tea parties at Cha Bar can last a relaxingly long amount of time.

They have a huge variety of teas to choose from of course. Each type of tea is served its own characteristic manner (my Ceylon tea came along with a Wodehouse-ian cow-creamer full of milk). But importantly, for people who aren’t too fond of their cuppa, they have an excellent array of snacks to choose from. And yes, they serve excellent pakodas to go with the tea.

Great place to while away the leisourly hours with a cuppa in one hand and a book in the other. Recommended.

Ambience: 3.5/5 (a bit cramped for space)

Food: 4/5

Pricing: 4/5 (reasonable)

Service: 4/5

The first restaurant that I visited in Bangalore was the charming Coffee World near Eva Mall. The place is spacious and seems like a hipper version of the numerous coffee chains. When at Coffee World, follow the proven effective three step process : sit down, strech your arms and order the strawberry waffles. Absolute bliss.

They also have a tasty selection of sandwiches which come with a variety of breads (panini, brown, etc to choose from. The solitary fruit based drink I had there was nothing special but I haven’t tried enough from the liquid section to make up a mind on them.

It is definitely a great place to unwind with friends. Recommended.

Ambience: 4/5

Food: 4/5 (the waffles steal the show)

Pricing: 3.5/5 (a wee bit overpriced)

Service: 3.5/5

Bangalored!

anuj m — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 18:41:16 +0000

Oh and by the way, this blog has moved from Mumbai to Bangalore.

This opens a lot of avenues for this blog, food-wise anyway. Bangalore is the food capital of India (that’s right) and it gives me the opportunity to regale you with tales from my dining diaries.

I like Bangalore – it has good food, good people and great traffic jams. But how is that any different from Mumbai you ask? The great thing about Bangalore is the sheer compactness of the city. In Mumbai when you want to dine out at your favourite restaurant, you plan in advance, you get home from work early, and then you pray that the traffic won’t be as bad as last weekend (which trust me, it will be). The meals don’t begin with starters here, they begin with a long commute. Enter Bangalore. The city has a large variety of cuisine to offer like Mumbai, but the fact that the city is much smaller in size, ensures that these restaurants are in close proximity to where you stay. You would find a lot of streets where numerous restaurants are huddled close together. Eating out here is hence a much more relaxing experience.

Next up, restaurant reviews!